@smilely_gal: With my pasty white skin, ample curves, & hatred of manual labor, I would have dominated the 16th century.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@bigdumbbrad: I only put one eye on my snowman. That way, if it ever comes to life, the lack of depth perception will give me a tactical advantage.
@VerifiedDrunk: A heart-shaped pizza just means less pizza and that's not a sacrifice I'm willing to make for love.
@rocknthepurple: I just wish I had someone who wanted to touch me as much as my shower curtain does.