@smilely_gal: With my pasty white skin, ample curves, & hatred of manual labor, I would have dominated the 16th century.
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@Rollinintheseat: Never play musical chairs against a person in a wheelchair. They will always beat you.
@KentWGraham: I hate when I’m running on the treadmill for half an hour and look down to see it’s been 4 minutes.
@HomeProbably: I've received so many Christmas cards from people I don't know this year, probably because they weren't addressed to me.