@HeyZeus666: With so many unhappy married couples and a 50% divorce rate, I think it's pretty obvious that Americans don't breed well in captivity.
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@jaaaaaayyyyyyyy: Barkeep. Send a drink over to little ms. thang over there. Tell her it's from me Sir, that's a Ms. Pac-Man machine *raises glass, winks*
@ibid78: After I undress you with my eyes I redress you with my eyes because it's still January so it's super cold out and I have considerate eyes.
@outsmartedmommy: Me: Ugh how can people live like this?! Him: This is our house. Me: What the Hell happened? Him: We had kids. Me: Oh. Right.