@HeyZeus666: With so many unhappy married couples and a 50% divorce rate, I think it's pretty obvious that Americans don't breed well in captivity.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Rollinintheseat: If history has taught me anything, it's that the person with the loudest, wettest cough will always sit down beside me in a waiting room.
@iwearaonesie: if you want your wife to take you seriously, don't throw your sippy cup during an argument
@FatherWithTwins: *co-worker approaching elevator* *I try to hit "close door" button* *I miss, hit "open door"* Co-worker: thanks for holding it Me: Of course