@funnybeachgirl: With the holidays upon us, please dont forget what they stand for. Family, friends & punching strangers at the mall because they cut in line
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@TheAlexNevil: Me (to 7): Son, we... Wife (in earpiece): have to talk M: Have to talk W: about girls M: About grills W: NO M: NO W: IDIOT M: IDIOT
@NoorShamma: Understand men, or die trying. Or try dying. Or quit trying. Or lie crying. Or cry tweeting. Or tweet trying, to understand men.
@jimmytorosian: *Rubs lamp* *Nothing happens* Where's the genie? *Takes off lampshade* What's wrong with this thing?