@wittwitbarista: With the magic of makeup, I go from tired old hag to tired looking old hag with eyeliner.
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@k8ieokay: Hey, did you guys know you can do just about anything if you use asterisks? *rides T-Rex off into the sunset*
@peachesanscream: What if your dog speaks French and this whole time has been asking you for some beef?
@iwearaonesie: *comes back with wife's purse* w: I said don't run or people will think you stole it! How many times did you get tackled? m:[bleeding] Twice
@Dpressedspartan: My class teacher once said "Write and Practice." Turns out she was right. I practiced on my desk just before I started my exam and it worked