@wittwitbarista: With the magic of makeup, I go from tired old hag to tired looking old hag with eyeliner.
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@markedly: PERSON: I'm exhausted! ME: Me too! What'd you do? PERSON: Ran a half-marathon and helped my pal move. You? ME: I talked to like 4 people.
@LaceyNycole: Him: How much do you love me? Me: A bit more than pizza. Him: Me: But not as much as coffee.
@bourgeoisalien: On the one hand, I want to exercise and take care of myself. On the other hand, it's just more years of living on a planet full of morons.