@Jandalize: With the money I found in the dryer, the girl in me says buy chocolate and candy, but the adult in me says buy beer, chocolate and candy.
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@Donna_McCoy: Nothing stops me in my tracks faster than a five year old saying, "I got you a present!"
@dumbbeezie: I don't have Facebook I use the police to tell my friends and family when I'm doing badly
@AlexRogaski: [2 Years into Cosmetology School] Me:[applying perfect contours] When are we gonna start learning about space?
@Fred_Delicious: "Ok folks who ordered the macaroni & bees?" "you mean cheese?" [waiter struggling to keep bowl covered] "that does make more sense actually"