@DancesWithTamis: With trump being a potential candidate I feel like the Simpsons are sitting on their couch watching an episode of us
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@Sickayduh: Christian epileptics don't appreciate when you tell them "Jesus is the reason for the seizin"
@jazmasta: "Please. I need this" I whisper as a 14 year old girl starts to get the better of me in an arm wrestling match.
@QwertyJones3: INTERVIEWER: You worked in a NASCAR pit crew? How does that qualify you to work here at the Men's Wearhou *I've already changed his pants*