@DaddyJew: Witness protection, but for men who have accidentally told a woman she looks tired
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@dubiousgenius: Then they came for the bins, and I did not speak out, because I was not a bin man, and they were, and that was their job.
@Playing_Dad: Major Tom: This is Major Tom to Ground Control I'm stepping through the door & I'm floating in a most peculiar way GC: New phone. Who dis?
@Tommytoughstuff: [getting an x-ray] TECHNICIAN: Quit putting that box of chocolates on your chest. ME: Just tell me which ones are coconut.
@bazlyons: They say punching a shark is an effective way to prevent a shark attack but my preference would still be 'land'