@LindseyEllison2: Woah! I can move stuff with my mind. Like, my legs.
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@notacroc: [date] Her: so you're a mathematician? Me: no actually I'm a *pythagorean doves fly out of my sleeve and hit her in the face* mathemagician
@LurkAtHomeMom: [Bucket Lists] 2003: 1. Visit Rome 2. Go skydiving 3. Run marathon 2017: 1. Eat sitting down 2. Wake up naturally 3. Finish painting foyer
@bananagrvyrd: Just spent 5 minutes waving my hands in front of a manual paper towel dispenser if anyone needs someone to take their SAT exam for them.