@THEDUTHCHESS: Woke up last night and the ghost of Gloria Gaynor was standing over my bed. At first I was afraid, i was petrified.
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@Brianhopecomedy: My wife: "What are you doing?" "Having an argument on Twitter" "With a man or woman?" "A lamp."
@HomeProbably: My parents were very inspirational, they used to say: "You can do whatever you want in life, as long as you don't do it here."