@THEDUTHCHESS: Woke up last night and the ghost of Gloria Gaynor was standing over my bed. At first I was afraid, i was petrified.
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@Schmoodles: My new boyfriend says the cutest things, like "Who are you?" and "Why are you hiding outside my house?" and "My wife is calling the police."
@Juven_Naidoo: Couch: $300 TV: $1000 Chips: $3. The look on your face when you don't have electricity: Priceless
@Smethanie: My 8-year-old just offered me leftover cashews from his lunch, asking "Do you want these nuts?" and I'm not mature enough to be a parent.
@Shame_Is: doctor: u are overweight me: hah yeah doc: ok drop your pants me: ur giving mixed messages doc! doc: me: doc: me: so do u like the Indians