@SadPeruna: Woke up to 5:15am phone reminder telling me I need to set my alarm for 8am. Thanks last night drunk self. This is why we don't have friends.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Spaziotwat: [The Second Coming] Jesus:"People of the Earth! I have returned with news of God's love an-" Voice from the crowd:"DO THE WINE TRICK"
@80want: inexplicably call ur boss "shortpants" until he gets insecure & buys pants that are longer. dont stop til he looks like a kid in dad clothes