@Baxterbix: Woke up with a hangover to the sound of my neighbor cutting the grass. He can cut around me, I'm not movin'.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SteveDutzy: Hey, we never talked in high school! Let's be Facebook friends so we can once again never talk! JUST LIKE OLD TIMES!
@Jam453Lane: They always say to follow your gut, that's why this is my 11th trip to the fridge for another beer.
@facciabella: When someone says "everything happens for a reason," I stab them and laugh, just so they know I understand.