@robdelaney: Woman at drive-thru just called me "honey." Headed home to tell my wife to take a god damn hike.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ehdannyboy: To tell the difference between an African and an Indian elephant, you look at its ears, then lift one up and shout "WHERE ARE YOU FROM M8?"
@tacsanitchiban: Old friend: Wow! When the hell did you grow a beard? Me: This morning. On the way here. Just felt like it was time.