@robdelaney: Woman at drive-thru just called me "honey." Headed home to tell my wife to take a god damn hike.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Social_Mime: This guy poured his box of raisinets directly into his bag of popcorn at the movie counter. After my initial shock I bowed to him.
@ShadyLadyHH: My new hobby is sitting outside on campus at night in my 1940s clothes and when people say things to me, I say "You can see me?"
@kjmeow: "FOR SALE: blender, like new. Does NOT make things taste like crayons ALSO FOR SALE: wax fruit, slightly scratched."
@caperbc75: *nervously adjusts fedora in Starbucks lineup I'll have uh, um, a mediu- I mean vanti, uh, mochacachito? Patrons: HE'S A FRAUD! GET HIM!!!