@mollymcnearney: Woman cut me off, stole my parking spot. I honked, flipped her off and went into yoga. Woman came into class as the instructor. Namaste.
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@AristotlesNZ: Boss: You're late! You shoulda been here two hours ago! Me: Why? What happened two hours ago?
@djdarrellripley: Me: I'm going across the street to get a beer. Priest: You can't bring a beer in here. This is a church. Me: I can if it's in my stomach.
@Izianikapani: "Just dashing to the shops" Woman [showers, washes hair, styles hair, puts on make up, chooses outfit, irons clothes] Man [grabs car keys]
@Alex_N_Chains: Clean tweeting is liberating. You don't need profanity to make a point. Look: Tell her she has beautiful eyes. Female dogs love that poopy.