@NoogsCorner: Women always complain about periods. Talk to me when ovaries become supersensitive, hang in a thin sac and you accidentally sit on them.
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@LuckoftheDraw86: I'm gonna date the first guy to come out of this "Free STD Screenings!" van. #goodplan
@WarrenHolstein: Janay Rice says the elevator attack was all part of God's plan. God must not like her very much.
@thatUPSdude: Was driving with my dad the other day and he told me to get the map out of the glove box. Easy there Indiana Jones, I will just google it.
@elspetheastman: Avocado: not ripe Avocado: not ripe Avocado: not ripe Avocado: I'M RIPE NOW Avocado: okay you were in the bathroom so I rotted