@NoogsCorner: Women always complain about periods. Talk to me when ovaries become supersensitive, hang in a thin sac and you accidentally sit on them.
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@SaraMansford: Sad that at 36 I have yet to experience the dirty dancing lift. If it doesn't happen by 40 I'll just start running at random strangers.
@bourgeoisalien: I imagine one day my dearest friends will say at my funeral, "Wow. What an idiot. Who chokes to death on orange sherbet?"
@WheelTod: A tropical depression is just like a regular depression. Except instead of being unable to get out of bed, you can't get out of a hammock.
@dshack8: "I'll just stagger around yelling random, incoherent shit as people try to keep me from hurting myself." Drunks and 1 year olds.