@junkyardigan: Women are from Venus, men are wrong.
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@AndyAsAdjective: In a parallel universe somewhere, Bruno Mars is listening to the radio & he’s sick of me being on every channel.
@kevinrowe1: Doctor: Between 1 and 10, describe how much pain are you in? Me: Is married a number? That's how I get the good meds...
@NoogsCorner: When your partner cheats on you, do what every respectable person does. Post their name and phone number on 4Chan.