@junkyardigan: Women are from Venus, men are wrong.
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@brianbowman73: Sometimes you have to put your phone down and take a look at what's around you.. And wonder how you drove your car into a swimming pool.
@therealeatwood: ME: Would you like a snack? 4: No. As a pure mathematical object, I require no physical sustenance.
@orange_rhymer: Cashier: how old r u? Me:*holding beer nervously* uuh 21 Cashier:*shaking his head sadly as he pulls Trix out of my cart* Trix are for kids.