@junkyardigan: Women are from Venus, men are wrong.
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@dubstep4dads: *counting sheep before bed* *jesus walks in your room* "I noticed there weren't any black sheep. what's up man. we gonna have a problem?"
@chopper4jk: The nice thing about Hide-and-Seek is your children voluntarily go in a closet and be quiet for 3 hours.
@CodyJP9412: [creating the armadillo] GOD: I want a half turtle, ANGEL: Okay G: Half pig, A: Okay, I'm on it- G: Half anteater A: ...Are u drunk G: Very
@ScarletStoner: I look suspicious doing anything. You could walk in on me heating up a hot pocket and my face could look like I just murdered my family.