@notenoughwine: Women are like bacon: we look good, we smell good, we taste good, and we will slowly kill you
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@thejamietighe: Me: GUESS WHO BOUGHT A MEGAPHONE? Neighbour: Get out of my house! Me: You're not even guessing.
@InstaTrent: A vegan girl told me that, "If you eat beef, you're basically a velociraptor." In what world is that not totally awesome.