@notenoughwine: Women are like bacon: we look good, we smell good, we taste good, and we will slowly kill you
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@Marcmywords2: Never compliment a woman on her sideburns ............no matter how magnificent they look.
@Ygrene: Oh man almost forgot the trash *takes trash out, a nice little sushi place* This is great *sees wife there with the recycling* WHAT THE HELL
@browneyegirl9: My boyfriend asked for a dirty pic last night, I was able to get my whole kitchen in the shot. That should last him a while! He's so weird.