@notenoughwine: Women are like bacon: we look good, we smell good, we taste good, and we will slowly kill you
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@JustDontBugMe: American: Say Aboot or Sorey? You say words so weird. Canadian: Yeah eh. Does saying Free health care hurt your feelings?
@Z_Mendenhall: Remember when you first started driving and everything was scary. Now you're going 80, putting salsa on your taco, driving with your knees.
@DothTheDoth: Mulder: it's some sort of over-fed grim reaper judgment figure. Scully: we're at the mall, Mulder. That's just Santa.
@ImKevinito: I wish cops cared about me wearing a condom as much as they care about me wearing a seat belt.