@Brentweets: Women are like squirrels, very cute from a distance but will fight when you try to pick them up and get them in your car.
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@TheRealRHB: Paid $50 for a device that has a motion detector that emits a sound to scare off neighbor's cat....she's out there rubbing up against it now
@NYC_Blonde: "I hate you but I love you. I miss you but you make me sick. You're wonderful but get away from me" -My love letter to carbs