@Brentweets: Women are like squirrels, very cute from a distance but will fight when you try to pick them up and get them in your car.
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@froghammer: Obamacare? More like "Obama? I don't care for that guy!!!" Honk if you want poor people to die
@KeetPotato: [paddling silently along the amazon in 2-man kayak taking in it's beauty] *from behind me* you know they named this after a website
@sarcasticmommy4: M: I'm so glad school started! 12: Can you help me with my math? M: OMG WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!
@envydatropic: My greatest fear is that I'll be reported as a missing person and my family guesstimates my weight way higher than what I actually weigh