@thenatewolf: Women are so confusing, one day they say they love hummus and then the next day they say it’s a bad birthday present.
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@SortaBad: Manny Pacquiao says he would accept a rematch with Floyd Mayweather. "Yes, I will allow you to pay me another $100 million," he told sources
@BooFricketyHoo: That awkward moment when you are introduced to someone and you have no idea if that person is their child or their spouse.
@cloudypianos: what if all your eggs hatched and when u opened the fridge a dozen baby chicks were staring up at u like u were their mom
@pauleggleston: 'Hello Microsoft support, what's the nature of the problem?' 'Eggshell' 'Eggshell??' 'Yesh' 'Oh hello again Mr Connery. Spreadsheet issues?'