@xysist: Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam's ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.
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@Parentpains: Name your child autocorrect, because eventually they'll just finish your sentences and correct you every chance they get too.
@philyuck: ME: I'll sleep on it. MATTRESS SALESMAN: Ok. ME: So wrap it up. I'd like to sleep on it tonight. MATTRESS SALESMAN: Oh, you want the... ok.
@ericsshadow: 20 yr old mom: my child is my life I would give my own life for him 40 yr old mom: GET OFF THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW OR I WILL END YOU
@lovemyboots111: "One day I caught myself smiling for no reason, then I realized I was thinking of you...." under a moving bus