@trevso_electric: Women! Can't live with 'em, can't sell 'em or Liam Neeson will find you and kill you.
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@KalvinMacleod: ME: my wife eats all the caramel corn and leaves the cheese JUDGE: give this man full custody of the kids ME: no wait they do the same thing
@AristotlesNZ: I went to M.C. Hammer's house once. It was annoying. He won't let you touch anything.
@my_minivan_life: 8yo: Do we have a fire extinguisher? Me: Yes. 8yo: Where? Me:... 8yo: WHERE! 6yo: (from outside) It's spreading. Me: I'm up.