@nghtfltguy: Women do not want to hear what you think..nnThey want to hear what they think..nnIn a deeper voice......
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@charliedelta7: I'm so hungry, I could eat this food without even instagraming it first. No, but seriously, I'm going to instagram it first. Don't be crazy
@WritePlay: Ariel was a minor and couldn't sign a legally binding contract. You'd think the king of the ocean's lawyers could get that shit thrown out.
@realHamOnWry: Me: Hey, just got back from a 3 hour walk. Her: But it's 20 below zero outside. Me: I had mitts. Her: Are you crazy? Me: No...Canadian.
@sozjalltheway: So, It's not ok to write "always best to have a spare incase you break the first one" on facebook, when someone announces a second pregnancy