@juliussharpe: Women, don't tell us about your boyfriend. He's a guy. We know what he's like.
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@KeetPotato: [at my date's front door] wait, so you've known i was a koala the whole time? "yeah" [me clinging to her arm slowly eating a leaf] how tho?
@GrandadJFreeman: Girls are like police. Even when they get a hold of all the evidence, they still want to hear the truth from you...
@rolldiggity: The best way to be passive aggressive to a trophy store is to order a "Worst Trophy Shop" trophy and then never pick it up.