@gerryhallcomedy: Women have a good 6th sense. I smiled at a girl in the mall once. When I got home I opened the door and my wife met me with a drop kick.
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@yab_kat: Me: I have a question about this time travel machine I bought from you guys Him: Sir, we don't sell time travel machines me: not yet
@dhumann: Flight Attendant: "Here is the extra blanket you asked for." Me: "Thanks. Could you jam it into that guy's mouth?"
@gagging: If you think marijuana doesn't kill you've obviously never read the bible. People getting stoned to death left and right.