@ObviousOstrich: Women have a higher risk of getting pregnant than guys.
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@JakeAupperle: Cashier: Cute kid, how old? Mom: Thank you, 28 months & 4days. What's my total? Cashier: Your total is 756 quarters & 8 dimes. #cashierlife
@gorrdano: Don't ever let anybody outshine you in life. If that means arriving at someone's funeral in a casket, then so be it.
@theshamingofjay: A group of lions is called a pride. A group of my family members is called an embarrassment
@HelloJessicaFox: I'm going to visit a dairy farm and pet all the cheeses and see if they'll eat out of my hand.