@shanethevein: Women have all the answers to all your questions.nnnAnd you don't even have to ask.
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@WheelTod: My key takeaway from Ghostbusters was that once you're dead, your Miranda rights don't count for shit.
@iwearaonesie: How much longer? Did you bring any snacks? They want $5 for M&M's! I wanna go home Is it over yet? - me watching my kids Christmas pageant
@jwoodham: Forrest Gump ran for 3 years, 2 months, and 14 days, which is approximately 3 years, 2 months, and 14 days longer than I've ever run.
@OutOfLeftField_: I told someone my name and they said, "That's unusual. You don't hear that every day." Actually, I do.