@MorganCO_B: Women like men with an accent, not an Axe scent
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@mrsjohngoodman: Remember when The Backstreet Boys told us to show them the meaning of being lonely and we were like ok
@withanewname: "Doc, it's embarrassing, but I don't feel sexy." "Try wearing the wife's panties." "Really?" "Yeah, the red ones with the lace are nice"
@dreamthievin: Replace his deodorant with a glue stick so he thinks of you every time he tries to raise his arm to put around the shoulders of another girl