@shutupmikeginn: women love to see the veins in a man's arm. it shows he runs on blood, and not something more sinister
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@platinum2000: [Confessional Booth] Me: I can't do anything right. Priest: Please get off of my lap.
@Xoolun: I hate it when TV shows say they contain "adult situations" but then don't show anyone going to a job they hate, and paying their bills.
@Ygrene: Scientists now believe that approx 2% of Earth's water at any given time is found on Tupperware containers being removed from the dishwasher
@kcmoore51: I love getting kisses from my dogs but, I'm starting to worry about the one who keeps trying to give me the slow tongue.