@TheCatWhisprer: I've never been camping but one time I ordered something from Amazon that wasn't Prime Eligible.

@samfromks: *Holds centipede up to your cheek as you're sleeping and whispers* Hey baby, the restraining order said a hundred feet...

@StarWarsProblms: Rey: Why do you hide behind a mask? Kylo Ren: *takes off his mask to reveal his real face* Rey: Wow. Put the mask back on.

@TheToddWilliams: GUY: Do you want to play fantasy baseball? ME: Okay, I'm a pitcher with gills

@scarebro: Scientists use dead bodies? Jesus, I know they're nerds but they should still be able to make living friends.