@ashleyaustrew: 4: "Mom, I'm gonna be just like you when I grow up and say bad words and eat French fries two at a time."
@LegoGodzilla: [first date]
GIRL: When you said "fitness freak" in your profile, this isn't what I expected
HALF-MAN/HALF-TREADMILL: It was an old photo
@murrman5: is your name melissa?
"yes"
are you married?
"to you sadly"
yes or no please
"yes"
do you like the lie detector I bought for your birthday?
@krishna_van: I AM THE MAN OF THIS HOUSE AND WHAT I SAY GOES in one ear and out the other.
@TheTweetOfGod: When you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, it means you've been using Apple Maps.
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