@Supafunkadunka: Women my age expect a man to have his shit together by now. Time to start dating younger women.
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@ashleyaustrew: 4: "Mom, I'm gonna be just like you when I grow up and say bad words and eat French fries two at a time."
@LegoGodzilla: [first date] GIRL: When you said "fitness freak" in your profile, this isn't what I expected HALF-MAN/HALF-TREADMILL: It was an old photo
@murrman5: is your name melissa? "yes" are you married? "to you sadly" yes or no please "yes" do you like the lie detector I bought for your birthday?