@Jake_Vig: Women never find it devilishly charming when I follow them into the lady's room. Thanks a lot, "Top Gun".
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@NamestartswithZ: My neighbor Ron is mad at me just because my book 'The Many Lawn Care Mistakes of My Neighbor Ron' is a hit with both critics and readers.
@SteveSuckington: *Wife screams* "THERES A RACCOON IN THE HOUSE. GET IT OUT" *I approach, raccoon cracks it's knuckles. I turn around* "It's his house now"