@DadandBuried: Women never understand the importance of cords. We NEED to keep all these cords, just in case! What if we run out of cords!
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@jwoodham: Dating is a win-win. If things go well, you eat food and fall in love. If they don't, you still eat food and that's all that really matters.
@TheThryll: Kind of sad that the most fragile men in the world are required by law to become pro wrestling referees.
@3sunzzz: Hang up weed instead of mistletoe, then every time you stand under it you can have a snack.