@DadandBuried: Women never understand the importance of cords. We NEED to keep all these cords, just in case! What if we run out of cords!
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@WilliamAder: Bought a cat collar with a bell on it, and now I can't sneak up on the cat to put it on her.
@Beerhaze: She hated my mixed-tape back in high school. Last month she gave birth to her ninth baby. Thanks for saving my life, Depeche Mode!
@P1ssed_K1d: I've always wanted to buy 2 coffees, take them to a crime scene & while handing 1 to the officer in charge ask, "So, what do we have here?"