@jtswhipped: Women say they love nerds until you whip out your Pokemon cards.
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@flashember: [Scientist describing evolution of the zebra] "We believe they were crime horses that stayed in jail for like a really, really long time."
@DaddyJew: Son: room's clean Me: u better not have thrown everything in ur closet S: I didnt M:*checks* nice, but wheres everything S: in ur closet
@kiebi: It's funny how red, white and blue represents freedom until its flashing behind you to pull over