@kelkulus: Women say they want a guy who can make them laugh. I'd probably have done better if they'd specified that they didn't mean by tickling.
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@harrows_: God said, "Thou shall not kill" And then he wiped out the entire human race with a global flood just because people didn't take it seriously
@chrissyteigen: "Whose funeral was this photo taken at?" John, serious tone: "I dunno. Let's see who's missing" possible funniest thing john has said