@MrsTomServo: Women want men they can fix; men want girls they can save; I want a sandwich that makes itself.
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@WiseguyPictures: Imagine how excruciating a conversation between Hodor, Groot, and Timmy from South Park would be.
@DJTannerComedy: Anderson Cooper: "the Arizona wildfire is flaming out of control." Arizona Wildfire: "Wow, isn't that the pot calling the kettle black."
@krisv_723: The only thing between me & a killing spree is the fact that I'd have to poop in front of people in prison.