@vineyille: Women wanted him, men wanted to be him, geese were skeptical
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@ch000ch: [slowly rises from trashcan while 2 friends are making plans without me] i am also free that day.
@vexroid: Cell phone. Recliner. Beer. Not at work. This homeless guy is living the dream from what I can tell.
@PowKapowBoom: My cat is stuck in a Cheeto bag and I'm really pissed that I didn't think of that first.
@InigoUnleashed: 'Your place or mine?' Is the sexiest response to the question: 'Where shall we bury the body?'