@Qu4rtKn33: Women who draw in their eyebrows are making a serious decision about what mood they're in for the rest of that day.
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@dafloydsta: When a coworker says "This is all Greek to me", I always assume they want me to punch them right in their throatopolis.
@drewjanda: Inventor of raisins: "What do you like about grapes" me: the juice part, the freshness Inventor: right but what if they had neither
@sfreeze6: Ouija boards are officially obsolete, now that the dead can read messages addressed to them on Facebook.