@Bob_Janke: Women with horses are rich versions of cat ladies.
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@iwearaonesie: wife's facebook post: so proud of 8, he's trying so hard in school! mama loves you! wife's text to me: he failed gym. gym!! i need a drink
@Petote: 911! I just murdered a bunch of people 911: omg on purpose? Hang on lemme ask, did I murder anyone by mistake?.. No one is answering, So..
@djdarrellripley: Look, I know you really miss her. But, you know what? Sometimes things aren't meant to be. One time I really wanted this waffle....