@Bob_Janke: Women with horses are rich versions of cat ladies.
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@SondraDeeMe: My Medical Emergency Contact is a girl from college who promised she'd pluck any stray hairs off my face if I slipped into a coma.
@WineMummy: Me:*screaming in horror in the bathroom* Him:*banging on door* Are you ok? WTF is going on? M:I found a gray hair! H:So? M:IN MY EYEBROW!!
@RonAnthonyQuinn: If I ever win the lottery & someone asks me for money I'm going to give them a dollar & say "Here. Go play the Lottery. That's what I did."
@Brianhopecomedy: "Hi, I'd like a Junior McChicken and a cheeseburger please." "$3.23." "Oh, and a bottle of water." "$87.54. Please drive thru."