@OutOfLeftField_: Women's voices naturally get higher as they get excited so if you're in bed and she still sounds like Morgan Freeman, try harder.
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@misfarber: Daddy, why is grandma so bitter? I don't know, son; seems to run in the family. Your great uncle tasted awful
@neiltyson: Urge is strong to leave work early on summer Fridays to avoid traffic. Most do it & become the traffic they sought to avoid.
@economybacon: Carl: Everybody was Kung fu fighting! Doug: um, I don't know Kung f-- Carl: except for Doug from accounting
@lisaxy424: If you're offended by anything on my TL, whatever you do, do not look at the rest of the internet.