@ch000ch: wondering if our openly racist uncles talk about their non racist uncles like "u shoulda heard the non-racist shit coming out of his mouth"
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@dubiousrhetoric: People: why do dogs bark at the mail man every single day Dogs: the mailman has literally never gotten in how do you not see what I'm doing
@BeingDBEAST: The kid next door just challenged me to a water fight, so I thought I'd tweet this while I wait for the water to boil...
@freypalm: Me, as a judge: OK we’ll take a quick recess now. *lawyers start discussing lawyer things* *I go outside and swing on the swingset*
@brendohare: Enough is enough. It is time for Sea World to step up and finally do something about the horrible whale who splashes everyone