@FannyB1tch: Word of the day - Obama. I opened a bottle of brandy and drank it Obama self.
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@KyleMcDowell86: DATING TIP: IF YOU EAT A MAGNET AND SLIP ANOTHER MAGNET INTO YOUR DATE'S DINNER SHE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LEAVE YOU
@YeahDrewisOn: I've learned there are two types of people in this world: People I trust to help me bury bodies... ...and bodies
@Underchilde: “I don’t mean to tell you how to do your job, but...” —People who are found buried in the woods