@hell_homer: words are just a big scam. they all just mean other words. so you keep on using even more and more words. that's how they get you.
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@BobbyBucchae: Watched Full House for not even a full minute & now I'm white with a credit score of 720
@3sunzzz: Dentists that pass out lollipops at the end of your child's dental cleaning, are passing out little pieces of job security.
@FunnyTunes: Friend: So, you are distantly related to the family next door, are you? Me: Yes, their dog is our dog's brother.
@super_morgasm: Facebook is great! It reminds me to go to the gym and take my birth control so I don't end up like everyone I went to high school with.