@hell_homer: words are just a big scam. they all just mean other words. so you keep on using even more and more words. that's how they get you.
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@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: there's a bear outside our tent ME: so W: so scare him off M: *unzips door* Donald Trump might become president *bear jumps into fire*
@sploosk: The only time my wife will ever scream "DEEPER, DEEPER" is when they are lowering my casket into the ground
@DomesticGoddss: Accidentally drove to work w/the kids still in the car & they waited until I parked to cheer that they weren't going to school. Mon-1 Mom-0