@SuitableHolmes: Words can not even begin to describe your beauty and how much I need to borrow your car.
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@pinupteacher: The confused head tilt your dog does but me when someone asks me if I want fries or salad.
@litfirebird: Hiring manager: what would you say are your greatest weaknesses? Me: probably men with hairy knuckles. Oh, and a moist pot roast.
@Cheeseboy22: I'm offended that horses don't put their hooves over their hearts during the National Anthem when they win a gold in equestrian events.
@ahoytheboat: my criminal record is only clean because of how fast i can run with my pants around my ankles.