@SuitableHolmes: Words can not even begin to describe your beauty and how much I need to borrow your car.
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@VenisVal: My friend's wife is so controlling. When they're together, he talks like he's filming a hostage video.
@slaughthie: Whoever speaks at my funeral will probably just look over at my casket and say "well, she was always kind of like this."
@TheWoodenslurpy: [at stadium with child] Me: That is batball. [at the races] Me: That is horse circles. [at the opera] Me: This is horned yodeling.