@Underchilde: Wore a hospital gown to work today and faked a cough for 5 minutes, and they said I could have the break room all to myself.
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: This woman got so offended when I asked if I could pet her son, like I'm the one who put him on a leash.
@BuckyIsotope: POLICE: knock knock DRUG DEALER: who's there P: weed DD: weed who P: we'd like to come in and arrest you DD: lol good one, come on in
@_SingleBabyMama: I figured out the best time to go grocery shopping these days is at 3:45 AM, before the Girl Scouts even wake up. Ha, I'll show them.