@Samzen_: World War III will happen when Jason Statham kidnaps Liam Neeson's daughter.
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@bobvulfov: WAITER: how was everything ME: [rubbing belly] so delicious. thank u WAITER: great. please stop rubbing my belly
@shkeeber: I'm not drunk. I'm a gravity inspector... ...and everything seems to be in order here. *falls down/passes out*
@prtxt: Appreciate how some people don't come out of ATM till they find the meaning of life right there.
@HavocMantis: Whenever I experience happiness, I signal this to other humans by showing the sharpest part of my skeleton.