@zacharyflynn: Worried that one day pillows will take over and start making forts out of us.
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@abbycohenwl: Bring an urn speed dating. Whenever a prospective match asks a question, whisper to urn, "I don't know, Mom: should I tell him?"
@Schmoodles: Toaster settings: No.1: "I do nothing." No.2: "I do nothing." No.3: "I do nothing." No.4: "I SET BREAD ON FIRE!"
@ramenfuneral: somebody sell me a flock of sheep so i can give them cool superhero names like bahman, the green lambtern and wonder woolman
@specialhug: People ask me the secret of a good tweet. It's called "proof-reading". Perhaps you've hard of it