@Dre_77_: Worst. Cruise. Ever. - Katie Holmes
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@sucittaM: Accidentally triple-knotted my laces so I guess I'm wearing these shoes for the rest of my life.
@WheelTod: I always carry a pocket knife, because I never know when I'll need to slice open a pocket.
@smedlee: APOCALYPSE SURVIVOR: "We must conserve resources. Only people with useful skills! What's yours?" ME: "I write and want to dir--" "GUNSHOT*
@BaileyXPaige: [at the gym] Trainer: "Why don't you tell me what your workout goals are." Me: "Goals? I'm just here so I don't eat for an hour."