@MatCro: Worst Native American name ever.
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@SCbchbum: “Son, would you like to go to college some day, or would you like to keep ordering guac? Your choice.”
@internetluke: [restaurant] *motions for waiter* Waiter! Bill please! *Bill comes out & dances embarrassingly to entertain me & the guests* Thanks Bill!
@TheToddWilliams: [first date] HER: I totally love Nirvana ME: Oh yeah? Name one of their albums HER: Nevermind ME Okay, forget about it then
@shwebby2: British police don't carry guns. So what exactly do they do then? Yell "STOP... OR I'LL SAY STOP AGAIN!"