@KellieMounce: Worst part of my old job was drug screenings. Had to tell a guy he was pregnant. Lesson: don't use your girlfriend's urine for testing.
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@thats_a_morey: What's that movie about the girl who forgets Adam Sandler every day? I want to know her secret
@Fickle_Filly: Terminate an unwanted conversation with someone you haven't seen for years with the words, "Wow. You've aged badly..."
@Chocovania: GOOD COP: The sign on your door says NOTARY NOTARY: Yes? NOT A GOOD COP: *menacingly leans onto desk* Sounds like something a RY would say
@kumailn: Guys, please don't judge someone based on stuff they wrote themselves in a public forum meant to reach the widest possible audience.