@pleatedjeans: worst place to be stung by bees is the club bc it just looks like you're doing cool dance moves & sure u win the dance off but at what cost
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@GreenishDuck: Can't believe a woman would grow a life inside of her for 9 months and then name it Ian.
@amechamecha: After spending 20 minutes trying to get my girlfriends bra off, I decided to give up. I wish I'd never put it on in the first place..
@SaltyCorpse: Toilet paper folded into a triangle in a hotel does nothing for me except remind me that someone touched the tp I need to use.
@krisv_723: You don't care when my dog does it, is not an acceptable explanation for shitting on your neighbor's lawn. I know this now.