@_SetTheHook_: Worst thing about having sex with a Canadian girl is having to sit through BOTH of our national anthems before we start.
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@TheRolo: Customer: Excuse me, are you the manager? Those Xmas Hams are expired Manager: Um... [changes sign to "Vintage Hams"] Hipster: I'll take 4
@shutupmikeginn: A fun prank is to search "buy antique dolls" on someone's computer because then all their Facebook targeted ads are creepy dolls forever