@HeavyRaines17: Worst thing about smoking marijuana nightly is the strong desire to also smoke it morningly, lunchly, afternoonly and allthetimely.
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@kumailn: "Give your email a good password. Letters, symbols, numbers." "What about my atm card which holds all my money?" "Any 4 numbers in a row."
@Home_Halfway: If you watch Jurassic Park backwards, it's an uplifting film about dinosaurs and people who work together to rebuild an island.
@Prof_BrianCocks: "14 years, £20 billion later and my team have finally finished building a Large Hadron Kaleidoscope." "You mean Collider?" "Oh shit!"
@_sleepysmile: What's with this 'running with scissors' bullshit? Why would you run with scissors? Are you that excited to cut paper?